When I look back on those early years, probably THE most
important lesson I learned was to pay attention to our son’s response to his environment. These reactions became apparent when he was
about 15 months old and I took him to a mall with few shoppers around. Little did I know at the time that the bright
lights, the multitude of sounds and the visual overstimulation in that enclosed
public place were distressing to him! A
simple thing like wrapping himself in a blanket soothed him instantly, while
the sitar music played at a restaurant can set him on a course to a mega
meltdown.
Being aware of the sights, sounds, touch, tastes and smells
that a child craves or avoids can make life easier for the
parent/caregiver. At the outset, it can
be quite frustrating until we understand their response to these stimuli. For example, a certain texture of clothing,
smell of foods like yoghurt and bananas or a soft background sound can affect the
child that a typical person may not even discern.
What makes things even more complex and confusing for the
parent is that the child could crave touch that soothes them at the start of the
day and want to avoid it by the end of the day, so fluid are their sensory
needs. It’s all about staying alert and
open to what the child needs in any given moment if we are to avert a
meltdown. When a child’s senses are
regulated he/she is happy and it’s easier to engage them in learning through
play or activities.
It can be frustrating for the adult coping with their child’s
fragile sensory system especially if they are quite distressed. We realized that our son usually gave us some
early warning signs about what bothered him before he could tolerate it no more. When we missed those signals it often ended
in a meltdown.
During the meltdown, the best course of action was to patiently
wait it out until the intense reaction had cooled off a bit. As a parent, watching my child falling apart,
my initial instinct was to give him a hug to soothe him but it took a while to
realize that a well meaning hug could sometimes aggravate and prolong his meltdown. We had a two-pronged strategy. First, over time we learned to avoid certain
stimuli that still bother him to this day.
Second, we gradually introduced him to new environments in small doses
until he got more comfortable with it.
As a child gets older, the sensory regulation determines
their capacity to focus, engage, learn and think logically. Trying to reason with a child whose sensory
system is out of sorts is a waste of time as logic goes out the window while
they try to keep it all together.
I’ll continue on this subject in my next blog.
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